Archived Posts from June, 2007

Tagged! 7 Random Things

I’ve been tagged! This one was actually a little tricky since I just recently wrote my 100 things about Ruby post, but I’m a multifarious creature so I managed to come up with 7 more random things about me. Here you go:

  1. When I met and began dating my husband, one of the first things he did that swept me off my feet was to bring a book of poetry to read to me at my house. The book was Love Is a Dog from Hell by Charles Bukowski. I swooned;)
  2. I went to an all-girls Catholic School during grades 5-8. Our playground games were burly and bad ass. Thanks to our antics, the maypole-thingy was deemed too dangerous and removed, one girl broke her collarbone during seesaw wars, and I accidentally knocked the head off a statue of St. Joseph during a snowy game of King of the Hill. Those nuns just loved us.
  3. My son was born at home. My birth was attended by two nurse midwives, my mother, and two close friends. There wasn’t a single man present. I had a relatively easy labor (just 4 hours) and a peaceful birth. Nothing has been easy since then, though!
  4. When I was pregnant I was one of those women who looks like she just swallowed a watermelon. I’m not exaggerating! My belly stuck straight out in appalling proportions, but if you saw me from behind you couldn’t even tell I was pregnant. Despite my diligent application of copious cocoa butter and Vitamin E lotion, I don’t just have stretch marks, I have saggy baggy skin all around my belly button. I’ve always had a perfectly flat tummy that I once loved to show off, but now I’m very self-conscious about it. Even though it’s flat as ever, I have the tummy of a 90-year old woman.
  5. I’ve never had a brand new car, and I don’t want one. The newest model I’ve ever owned is the 1999 S-10 pickup we currently drive. Our other vehicle is a 1989 Dodge Ram Van that we bought recently so we could finally transport all 6 kids in one vehicle on weekends. Prior to that I had a 1991 Grand Marquis and we needed both vehicles to travel anywhere with the whole family. When I’m alone I really prefer to get around on foot or by bicycle.
  6. I absolutely love thunderstorms. I find them to be intensely erotic and just altogether awe-inspiring. When I lived on my little sailboat in FL, lots of people would wonder how my son and I managed during storms, and wasn’t I afraid? In fact I loved nothing more than being on my boat (safely on its mooring, that is) during a fierce thunderstorm. I’ve seen some of the most incredible cloud formations while watching an approaching storm on the bay. I loved the sound of the wind and the rain and the way the boat would pivot on its mooring when the wind shifted, and the way the choppy seas tossed and rocked our little home on the water. Even my little one was fearless, bless his swarthy pirate heart. Hurricanes, however, are another story entirely. I love storms, but I’m not suicidal. I prefer to ride those out on dry land.
  7. I’m afraid of spiders but I love spiderwebs. Really big spiders simultaneously terrify and fascinate me. Some of them are truly beautiful and I don’t mind admiring them from a safe distance. I definitely prefer spiders who live in their webs to the ones that creep around in dark corners and sneak up on you without warning. I try not to kill them and if he’s available I’ll have Steel gently relocate them outdoors. I never kill spiders that I find outside because that’s their turf. But if I find one in my house then they better pray that Steel is around to remove them.

I’m supposed to tag 7 more bloggers, but I can’t think of anyone who hasn’t already done this meme. If you’re reading this and thinking “Pick me, pick me!” then by all means, go for it! If you do, please leave a comment so we know you’ve participated and then we can check out your answers.

Filed under: Memes | June 29th, 2007 Comments (4)

A Good Man is Hard to Find

[This is the fourth and final post in a series entitled Overcoming Orgasm Killers that will examine the various factors that impact a woman’s sexuality, particularly in relation to her ability to orgasm.]

I’ve spoken of some of the personal reasons why a woman might have difficulty achieving orgasm and realizing her full sexual potential, but unless she is content with masturbation as her sole means of sexual gratification, then she’s going to need a lover with whom she can collaborate.

While it’s no lie that a good man is hard to find, I do think that most men sincerely strive to be good lovers. Despite their best intentions, however, they are often impeded by honest ignorance, not to mention warped cultural attitudes. Sometimes they may have even been mislead by women who faked their orgasms due to their own sexual hang-ups. Here are some ways that a man - any man - can not only pleasure his lover, but also help her to feel completely at ease with her sexuality. The key is to make her WANT to fuck you. She won’t want sex if she’s feeling inhibited. Here are some tricks that all good men know:

  • Worship her body - I don’t care how much she weighs or what size she was when you met, but if you can convince her that the very sight of her flesh makes you mad with lust, she’s going to enjoy sharing her body with you. All of it!
  • Make her feel loved - This just makes for a happy, healthy relationship, which may not necessarily guarantee great sex, but it will certainly facilitate it by making sure her emotional needs are being met.
  • Honor her boundaries - Never, ever attempt to coerce, coax or cajole her into doing anything she isn’t completely comfortable with. There’s no harm in making suggestions if you’d like to try something new or different, but be sure that if she expresses any discomfort with the idea that you drop it and let it be. And don’t guilt trip her either. If she reluctantly gives in and lets you give her a facial and then it turns into a bad experience, she’s just going to be resentful. Resentment is NOT sexy. Trust is! If she trusts you then she is far more likely to be willing to experiment.
  • Split housework and childcare - Is yours an equal opportunity household? It should be. If you’re wondering why your wife is always too tired to have sex every night, pay attention to what it is she’s been doing until bedtime. I’ll bet she’s not sitting around eating bonbons. This is all about making sure her other needs are met because, like it or not, sex can’t always be her top priority. Ask yourself this: If she doesn’t get the laundry done and the dishes washed and the kids bathed, then who will? If the answer is “Uh, nobody?” or “I dunno?” or “But I work hard all day!” then you’re a slacker. Get off your ass and lend a hand or two and you might get a lot more nookie. And guys, don’t keep score. If your spreadsheet tells you that you’re responsible for X chores and Y chores are her job, then all I can say is I hope your spreadsheet gives good blowjobs.
  • Foreplay - While it’s true that plenty of women are ready to fuck on a moment’s notice, this is more the exception than the rule. Even those women for whom this holds true wouldn’t claim to be so ready all the time. Most women need a little preparation. Give her pussy some well-deserved attention. Oral sex is a popular technique, but you can also try fingering her or using her favorite vibe or dildo. I think it’s a good policy to make her come once before penetration. Chances are she’ll be begging for your cock, and wouldn’t that be nice?
  • Don’t forget the clit! - The clitoris is such a coy mistress, but my oh my she really can liven things up once you get her going. There are plenty of different ways to make a women climax, but including her clit in your efforts is almost always a sure thing.
  • Talk about it - I just can’t say it enough: communication with your partner is crucial not only to your sex life but also to your relationship. In my estimation, if you’re too embarrassed to talk about sex with your lover, then you’re not ready to be having sex. If you really struggle with speaking face-to-face on certain delicate subjects, try writing a letter or an email. Any means will do so long as you’re honest and specific.

Although this list is not by any means exhaustive, it does cover the basics. Bear in mind that each woman is a unique individual and if you really want to know how to please her, ask her. These general tips will get you started in the right direction. It’s really pretty simple. Make her feel good about herself, earn her trust, respect her boundaries, devote yourself to her pleasure, and talk to her. These are the secrets to a fun and rewarding sex life. These are the ways to help her overcome her own insecurities and shame, and if you are the one to accompany on her journey of self-discovery, you will reap the rewards tenfold.

Finally, a word for the ladies - if your man is not willing to abide by these basic guidelines, dump him. You deserve to be worshiped and appreciated. Don’t settle for anything less. Good men may be scarce, but they are out there.

Let’s wrap things up with a couple of tunes. I couldn’t decide which of these to post, so I’m going to share them both. I figure it’s only fair to include a male and female perspective:)

A Good Man is Hard to Find - by the iconic Bessie Smith

A Good Man is Hard to Find - by the weird genius poet Tom Waits

Filed under: Unsolicited Advice | June 29th, 2007 Comments (0)

TMI Tuesday #89

I’m a day late, but that’s nothing new. I’m not really into memes, but TMI is right up my alley.

  1. Does the carpet match the drapes? Yes it does! Ruby’s a natural redhead baby;) Personally I think my trimmed red bush is quite pretty, which is just one reason why I don’t shave or wax it all off.
  2. Have you ever used personal information about someone to blackmail them? No. Blackmail is bad karma. Not that I haven’t been tempted, particularly when it comes to Steel’s ex-wife. But I have had to remind myself that she’s the hateful, vengeful wretch and do I really want to be like her? No I do not.
  3. What is your favorite thing to lick? Pre-cum on a steely cock. Yum!
  4. Have you ever had sex in a place of worship? (i.e., church, temple, mosque, etc.) Not yet. I haven’t attended church in years, but I do love old historic churches, grand gothic cathedrals, and tiny rustic chapels. I’m plenty eager to express my irreverency!
  5. If you watch video porn, do you buy it in a store, from a catalog, online, or download it? LINK!!! ;) We rent it from the local porn shop. Steel used to work there years ago. Unfortunately the selection is rather mainstream, so in the future I plan to order my porn online. Honestly, though, I’m not that into porn, which is probably because most of it sucks. I’d love to get turned on to some good porn.
  • Bonus: How often, if ever, do you “fake it?” Never. There’s no reason for me to do so. I consider it a real disservice to your lover. It’s like laughing at your kid when he’s behaving badly, and then getting mad at him when he keeps doing it.
Filed under: Memes | June 27th, 2007 Comments (5)

You shouldn’t have to go solo, but if you do . . .

At long last, a reader has sent me a solicitation for advice. Bless you, dear woman! Her first email was quite brief:

My man can’t keep up with my hyper sexual needs. I am turning to battery operated machinery to quell my needs. What do you recommend????

I wasn’t quite clear on what sort of recommendation she was asking for. Normally, I would advise someone in her circumstances to dump the dope (this is my default answer in most scenarios), but I thought it would be more prudent to get some more information first, so I wrote back requesting details. She happily obliged:

Yes, I am married. We have been for five years and together for 7. I do have children. We have two boys, 4 and 13 mo. I recently stopped breastfeeding after a year and have been hypersexual ever since then. After being pregnant and/or breastfeeding for nearly 4 years straight, I seemed to have finally gotten my groove back. I’m 32 so maybe I’m finally hitting my peak.

My husband lost his father in November. It was absolutely devastating to the entire family. He has also gained a lot of weight and has absolutely NO motivation to do anything. He’s on a lot of medication for anxiety and now for cholesterol and high blood pressure (he’s only 36). We don’t really communicate about sex, we just do it (sometimes). Basically I can get him to do it but it doesn’t last very long and I am the one that ends up unsatisfied. I have to take care of myself. Then of course I’m all pissed off because I’m frustrated and he just goes to bed. ARGH!!! Which leads me to my question to you. If I am going to take care of business myself, I want something fun and exciting to do it with.

I’m a private investigator so I know the signs of cheating and that is definitely NOT why he doesn’t have anything other than the “slam bam” interest in me. It would take effort for him to get out and see someone else. I can’t get him to make any effort in our house so why in the world would he make an effort for someone else!!!

I appreciate your advice! I love your blog. I was thinking of writing an erotic blog myself just to get some of the dirty thoughts in my head out. ;P

Being married with children makes it a bit harder to simply walk away from a bad lover. It’s one thing when you’re dating and childless, but once you have a family you really do owe it to your partner and your children to make an effort to improve the situation before you simply dump him. And it sounds like this woman doesn’t want a divorce, she just wants orgasms! Who can blame her?

Now that she has clarified her desire for recommendations in the sex toy department, I’m happy to offer my input. However, I feel compelled to first comment on the situation in general.

Dear Reader,

It sounds like your husband has some valid issues related to his health as well as his emotional well-being (grieving for his father). I’m not a pharmacist but I do know that some medications are known libido killers, so it might be worth looking into that. Talk to his doctor and see if there any alternative medications that won’t impact his sexual desire.

What worries me is that you seem resigned to your fate as a nearly-sexless wife. This is even more troublesome because you mentioned that neither of you communicate about sex.

Allow me to pause for dramatic effect.

Ahem.

COMMUNICATION WITH YOUR PARTNER IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT OF YOUR SEX LIFE.

You really need to have a heart-to-heart with your husband. It sounds like he’s not even aware that you are dissatisfied with your sex life. You can’t really blame him for being clueless if you don’t speak up. I suggest that you start out by expressing your needs in terms of your concern for him and for your marriage. Make it clear that you don’t want to leave him, you want to help him. Discuss the possibility of new medication, as I mentioned above. Suggest some grief counseling. Offer him reassurance that you care about him and you want him to be happy, but also be sure to express that you are not happy with the current state of affairs. Tell him that you are willing to give him time to heal and sort through his problems, but that you’re too young and too lusty to shelve your sex life indefinitely.

The important thing is to be gentle and to frame your discussion as a desire to strengthen your marriage. Let him know that you value your relationship with him and you want to do what’s best for your family. But he needs to meet you half way.

It’s important to bear in mind that sexual needs are no less valid than emotional needs. I’ve discussed this before, and I can’t say it enough - no marriage can thrive as long as one partner is not getting their needs met, whether they are sexual or emotional or otherwise.

Of course, your husband can’t meet your needs if you don’t express to him what those needs are. It sounds like you also need to speak up in bed. Tell him what you like. Or better yet, show him! Explore different techniques to help him maintain his erection longer. Some couples find it helpful to have him cum before sex, usually with a nice blow job, and then when he’s ready for more he’s likely to last much longer.

OK, now I’ll step off my soapbox and get to your actual question. You want some fun and exciting masturbation aids? Goodness, there are zillions to choose from and everyone has different tastes, but I can recommend some of my favorites.

  • WildFire - This is a G-spot vibrator that we use often and I love it. The brand may differ but the design is the same, and if it’s good enough for Susie Bright, it’s good enough for me!
  • A good bullet vibe - This is a must in my opinion, and there are lots of models to choose from. Depending on your preference, any of the following variations have merit:
    • Durex Little Gem - Rechargeable and ergonomic! This one looks quite promising, but since I’ve never actually used it I can’t guarantee that it lives up to the hype. However, when I’m ready to upgrade to a new model, I’ll definitely be looking for those two qualities - rechargeable battery and ergonomic design.
    • Wireless and waterproof - Handy features, but the cell batteries don’t last long and they cost more than the vibe. Might be worthwhile if you plan to get yourself off in the bath!
    • Turbo Tingler - Operated by a remote control, this type takes AA batteries which are cheap and easy to come by. I don’t mind the wire at all myself, and variable speed control is a nice feature.

These are some toys that I’ve never used but I definitely would love to try them out sometime:

  • Hitachi Magic Wand- A true classic! As you may have noticed, I hate buying batteries, so I’d love to have one of these.
  • Durex Ellipse - I love the sleek design and again, rechargeable batteries are a definite bonus.
  • Crystal Wand - Looks very promising and has a lovely design. I find that if I have a vibrator on my clit sometimes it’s overkill to have a penetrative vibrator as well. This would be a great companion to a bullet vibe, in my opinion.
  • Royal Balls - Also known as Smart Balls, I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I don’t already own a set of these because they are just too cool. My next sex toy purchase will most certainly be a set of these.

Like I said, every woman is different so if none of these appeal to you then by all means, keep looking. Babeland is a highly reputable dealer in sex toys and just browsing through their store is enough to get me stirred up.

Good luck, my dear reader, and I hope your situation improves in all respects. And if you ever start your own erotic blog, by all means let me know so I can check it out!

Love,

Ruby

Filed under: Toys, Advice | June 26th, 2007 Comments (5)

Masturbation: Your gift to yourself

[This is the third post in a series entitled Overcoming Orgasm Killers that will examine the various factors that impact a woman’s sexuality, particularly in relation to her ability to orgasm.]

There seems to be some conflicting information regarding the frequency of masturbation by women compared to men. Most sources claim that men masturbate more than women, though I did find one article insisting that that was all hogwash and their source claims that 95% of women have masturbated. Well, sure, but trying it once and making it a part of your daily routine are quite distinct, so I’m still not convinced that the girls are matching the boys in terms of frequency.

I think it’s possible that those numbers are slightly skewed if only because women may be less likely to admit to masturbating. One study indicates that women are more likely than men to experience guilty feelings about masturbation. It would be fair to state, then, that there exists a stigma against female masturbation. And that’s just wrong.

Of course, for decades (if not centuries) men were the ones who were condemned for masturbating and were threatened with all sorts of dreadful afflictions if they spilled their seed. No one bothered to warn women of the dangers of masturbation because it never even occurred to them that women would want to do such a thing. In fact, it wasn’t all that long ago that women diagnosed with hysteria (a patriarchal construct if ever there was one) were prescribed a “pelvic massage” until they reached “hysterical paroxysm” (that’s an orgasm to you and me). Of course, doctors never imagined that a woman would be able to provide her own orgasm, so they were forced to resort to external implements - some of the first vibrators and dildos. What really boggles my mind is that performing this “treatment” on a woman was apparently considered an unpleasant task. My, how times have changed!

Fortunately, we’ve made some progress since the Victorian era, though not as much as one would hope. After all, the sale and distribution of dildos are currently illegal in Alabama. My sympathies to Alabama residents.

While women are certainly closing the masturbation gender gap, I’m not sure we’ll ever completely catch up; unless of course my utopian dreams come to fruition, but I’m not counting on that. Women have a serious anatomical disadvantage compared to men. Perhaps if our clits were six inches long and protruded conspicuously from our pelvic region we’d be more inclined to investigate them. Even little boys know, long before they experience ejaculation, that touching their penis feels good. And while plenty of little girls do learn how to pleasure themselves, I think most of us would have to admit we had no idea that our “privates” held such delectable mysteries.

Or maybe it’s just me?

I really was totally clueless, probably more so than most. But my point is that because women’s genitalia are mostly internal and the external parts are so small and inconspicuous, it requires a rather deliberate effort on the part of a woman to plumb the recesses of her sexuality. This physiological fact combined with repressive cultural attitudes results in a significant number of women who simply never bother to masturbate.

I’ve already discussed shame and suffice to say that shame is probably the biggest reason why someone doesn’t masturbate, whether they are male or female. There are still some churches that insist that masturbation is sinful. I don’t expect any of those people to stumble upon this site and have some kind of epiphany. “Oh! This Ruby gal is really on to something. I’m going to put down my Bible and tickle my clit because now I’m so much wiser!” I can dream, though, can’t I?

But fret not, for there are lots of women who have difficulty reaching orgasm during sex and they’re not ashamed of their pursuit of orgasmic ecstasy, although they might need a little encouragement. And all orgasmic women know that the secret to sexual ecstasy is masturbation. It’s really that simple. If you want to orgasm during sex or anytime, you can’t rely on your partner to unravel the mysteries of your vulva. As the owner of said vulva, you have an advantage over your lover(s) - you can feel exactly what works for you and what doesn’t. And I’ll let you in on a little secret: when it comes to orgasms, women are far luckier than men. SOOOO much luckier than men! That’s why I’m pretty sure that if God had genitals,* she would totally opt for a vulva.

So ladies, it’s time to exercise your divinely inspired physiology and explore your twiddly bits! Let there be no more delay! Your orgasms await! You don’t need a fancy dildo or vibrator at all. In fact, if you’re a beginner I strongly recommend that you launch your spelunking adventures with your own fingers. Even one or two fingers inside your vagina will feel quite nice, especially if you wiggle them around a bit. I also recommend using a “come hither” motion with your middle finger while it’s buried in your twat - this is likely to connect with your G spot and I think you’ll like it.

But most importantly, you’ll want to play with your clit. The clitoris can be such a shy violet, but when she’s coaxed out of hiding she can be the life of the party. And once you’ve unleashed the power of your clit, she can be a real attention whore, that one. She’ll want you to play with her all the time - in the shower, before sex, during sex, after sex, on the phone, at work.

Or maybe it’s just me?

Personally, I was a late starter and didn’t start masturbating until I was around 20 years old. Then I went through an extended period of time in which I wasn’t able to enjoy orgasms during sex nearly as well as when I masturbated. For a while I feared that I was doomed to enjoy my best orgasms all alone. It really wasn’t until I married Steel that I felt comfortable enough to play with my clit while fucking, and that’s when my orgasmic potential was really unleashed. Hell YES! So please, let me spare you the wasted years of mediocrity and trust me when I say that you should definitely focus on stimulating your clit during penetration because it’s fucking AWESOME. In every sense. Oh god yes.

I’ve now pretty much covered all of the personal and internal factors that might prevent a woman from reaching her full orgasmic potential. First, strive for body acceptance. Second, reject the trappings of shame and embrace your sexuality as a natural and integral part of a healthy happy life. And today we’ve attempted to abolish any masturbation guilt so that we can give our clits the attention they so deserve.

In my final article in this series I’m going to turn the tables and examine the ways in which our lovers can assist or hinder us in our pursuit of orgasmic ecstasy. Because while masturbation is big fun, it’s no substitute for partnered sex.

*Isn’t it funny how so many people assume that God has a singular physical form, let alone a penis?

Filed under: Masturbation, Unsolicited Advice | June 22nd, 2007 Comments (2)

Shame

[This is the second post in a series entitled Overcoming Orgasm Killers that will examine the various factors that impact a woman’s sexuality, particularly in relation to her ability to orgasm.]

My first post in this series focused on body image and how a woman’s distortion of her body image can cause her to feel inhibited sexually. Today I’m going to talk about another common cause of sexual inhibition: shame.

Shame is an ugly thing. Experts distinguish shame from guilt by defining guilt as feeling bad about something we’ve done, whereas shame relates to feeling bad about who we are. Shame can creep into our hearts stealthily. It may originate in our family or our religious upbringing very early in life. It may not arise until we hit puberty and we are taught to repress our natural sexual desires. Whatever the cause, shame is a toxic condition and is completely at odds with a healthy and unabashed sexuality.

Unfortunately, our society thrives on shaming anyone who chooses to be open about their sexuality. While women are favorite targets of shaming, gay men aren’t far behind them. Straight males are the only group that is ever allowed, even expected, to behave in a sexually aggressive manner.

Shame tells us that if we act on our desires we are dirty and deviant and perverse and therefore we shouldn’t be surprised when someone treats us badly.

Slut shaming is top sport among social conservatives, and anyone who’s ever had the misfortune to be the victim of rape or sexual assault knows all too well that slut shaming is standard procedure in our justice system. Religion is another prevalent means of instilling shame in people.

So is it really any wonder that so many women and, yes, even men are uncomfortable expressing themselves sexually? I certainly hear a lot of men decrying the fact that their wives/girlfriends are sexually repressed. Shame is a pervasive feeling that is very difficult to pinpoint and many people aren’t even conscious of it, even as it manifests itself in their daily interactions. In fact, it may seem perfectly normal to feel shame, particularly in the context of sexuality.

I grew up in a church that considered sexual repression to be a righteous necessity. Until I was 16 years old I clung to the conviction that premarital sex was sinful and I was quite determined to preserve my purity. It never even occurred to me to masturbate back then! I’ve written about the experience that changed my perspective, and in some ways I’m grateful for that incident. It was a relatively minor trauma and I came out of it unscathed and with a new determination to seek my own truth. I consider myself very fortunate.

I’m afraid I don’t really have any straightforward techniques for overcoming shame and sexual repression. It’s a very individualistic phenomenon and there is no simple “cure” for shame. It’s a matter that would be handled most effectively by a professional therapist or counselor. But I think that the first step in overcoming shame is to simply be aware of it. Once you recognize the source of your inhibitions, it becomes possible to confront it and work through it in whatever way you see fit. It may be a long healing process but it will have a huge impact on your life, not just sexually but in all aspects. Shame can be crippling in more ways than we even realize.

I’m more inclined to advise the partners of people who are suffering from a sense of shame. If you suspect that shame is at the root of your partner’s sexual inhibitions, then you are in a very delicate position. The first thing you can do is to gently encourage them to get some help. No matter what you do, though, you’re going to have to be gentle and tactful. The worst thing you can do to someone afflicted with shame is to pressure them into doing something they’re not comfortable with. Coercion, nagging, and bullying are very damaging tactics and will merely serve to reinforce their fears and doubts. The best thing you can do is make your partner feel good about themselves, sexually and otherwise. Self-esteem is the best antidote, but it’s not easy to come by if shame has anchored itself in your psyche.

Personally, I give you all permission to embrace your inner pervert and reject the trappings of shame! I sincerely hope you can allow yourself that same freedom.

There’s one more culprit in the line-up of orgasm killers that I’ll be discussing next, which is the supposed stigma against female masturbation. After that, I’ll turn the discussion toward the other half of this equation: our lovers.

Filed under: Orgasms, Unsolicited Advice | June 21st, 2007 Comments (4)

Sugasm 84

I’m back in the Sugasm this week after some slacking off. Hats off to Lina, Badgirl, Sweet Caroline and Tara Tainton for making the top picks!

Sugasm #84

The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #85? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form.

This Week’s Picks

C’s Little Witch (un-cool.blogspot.com…)
“Tom wrote on his blog I would do anything carnal to please her: oh, yes. Oh, yes.”

How to have a secret affair at work (myhotbox.blogspot.com…)
-Funny video-

Desperate wantonness is not always pretty (smart-girls.blogspot.com…)
“Am I now so desperate for sex that I’m causing random sex toys to spontaneously get off when they’re around me?”

Mr. Sugasm Himself

ActionGirls 2007 (sugarbank.com…)

Editor’s Choice

History of Gay and Lesbian Pride Month (www.taratainton.com…)

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday (Fleshbot.com)

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

All Righty Then… (aurorablack.blogspot.com…)

Attention to detail (secretlifeofaman.blogspot.com…)
Hot and Bothered:Feminist Pornography (www.sex-kitten.net…)
In Which I Defend Myself, And Likely You Too (silent-porn-star.blogspot.com…)

On Baritones and the State of My Panties (whatmyfriendsdontknowcanthurt.blogspot.com…)
A Random Post About Why Shay Rarely Reads Erotica (shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com…)
Thank You, Sir, May I Have Another? (aslipofagirl.blogspot.com…)

BDSM & Fetish

Dress Up (katescuriosita.blogspot.com…)
His need (dirtylittlecockslut.blogspot.com…)
Kink In The Mainstream - Exhibit B: Family Guy Bondage (www.quipsandchains.com…)

Making sense of it all (transformher.blogspot.com…)
Marked (lafillemariee.blogspot.com…)
My choice (my choice)

Wicked Saturday - Part 1 (www.sub-burbs.com…)
You gotta be punished! (lastbreath.wordpress.com…)

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio

Half-Nekkid Nipples (sweatshopsissy.wordpress.com…)

Party Tricks (imelda-imelda.blogspot.com…)
Two For One (eroticjournals.blogspot.com…)

Sex Work

Chastity (www.radicalvixen.com…)

Sex News & Reviews

Celebrate Pride Month with Our GLBT Designs! (www.tarasnaughtyshop.com…)
Ohio: no nudes is good nudes… (hard-and-fast.blogspot.com…)
Pearl Pleasure Comfort Grip Stroker Review (stilettodiaries.blogspot.com…)

Punished Brats review (darkside-journey.blogspot.com…)

Erotic Writing and Experiences

Appel téléphonique (blog.coquetterie.net…)
Dress Code (in-your-pants.blogspot.com…)

First date etiquette revised (junohenry.wordpress.com…)
Frustration (ellabeecoquette.blogspot.com…)
A lovely evening (prettywomanjournal.com…)

My Body is Yours (bikersballsandteacherstits.blogspot.com…)
A Night with the Office Meeting Guy (part 2) (fexual-strustration.blogspot.com…)
Orgasm Addict (rubytellsall.com…)

Party Games - Part 1 (drtycplinva.blogspot.com…)
Tonight You Belong To Me (perverselypoly.blogspot.com…)
Unexpected, Part Four (alittleoutoftune.blogspot.com…)

What Comes After “Hello” (sexyandallthat.blogspot.com…)

Sex Humor

Eating Pussy (memoirsofanasshole.blogspot.com…)
Lawnmower Sex (www.mootsex.com…)

Paris Hilton Forced, By Society, To Acknowledge Worthlessness (funnyextreme.com…)

Nipple clamps courtesy of Sweat Shop Sissy.

Filed under: Sugasm | June 19th, 2007 Comments (1)

TMI Tuesday #88

It’s that time of the week again!

  1. If you were to face the Wizard of Oz, would you want more courage, more brains, or more heart? More courage. I hate being shy. I’ve come a long way in that respect, but it still requires a great deal of effort for me to approach people. I’d particularly like to have more courage to approach strangers on the street whom I’d like to photograph.
  2. Have you ever gone to court for anything? What for? Yep. I was arrested in high school for possession of marijuana. My day in court went pretty well. Being a juvenile has its advantages. But my dad made me pay for my own lawyer. I’m no Hilton!
  3. What was the last thing you did that you previously told yourself you wouldn’t do? Yelled at my son. *sigh* Maybe I need a little more heart, too.
  4. Did you ever have a summer fling while on vacation? Yep. Not exactly a vacation, but a semester abroad. And I have a permanent reminder: He’s 8 years old now.
  5. Have you ever done anything sexual with someone who’s name you never knew? I’ve always known their first name, at the very least, but I’m very good with names. Last names are another story.
  6. Bonus: What is the best way to mend a broken heart? Do something awesome. I’ve been known to climb a mountain or sail a boat solo. Do something that challenges and inspires you. Remind yourself how amazing you are and that you can do anything. I do not advocate rebound flings, but I don’t condemn them either.
Filed under: Memes | June 19th, 2007 Comments (5)

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