Archived Posts from 'Confessions' Category

TMI Tuesday #87

This is a new meme that I just discovered recently and I love it! Hopefully it will become a regular feature here. Without further ado, here is this week’s Q&A:

  1. What is the meanest thing you’ve ever done/said to a lover/loved one? Said, “I don’t love you anymore.” Although it’s possible that one of my exes might come up with something different. My memory is probably biased.
  2. Have you ever had sex on an elevator? Sadly, no. But it’s one of those things I’d like to do before I die.
  3. Have you ever lied about a rash and said it was a birthmark? OR Have you ever lied about a birthmark and said it was a rash? No.
  4. Have you ever had sex on a beach or in the water at a beach/pool? Yes and yes! On a beach in Costa Rica. Actually, I don’t recommend sex on the beach. Sand and tender parts don’t mix well, especially with friction. In the water at Fort DeSoto, FL, and that was wicked cool because of the phosphorescent algae in the water - everytime you move the water glows! Plus there were fish jumping all around us. I think that was their way of applauding:)
  5. How old are you? How old do you feel? 33. I dress and feel younger, though.
  6. Have you or your partner been injured so badly during sex that you/they had to go to the hospital? No, thank goodness.
  7. Have you been to a strip club or “titty bar”? (Hooters does NOT count.) If so, did you get a lap dance? No, but I’d be willing to. I never thought that a lap dance would interest me, though, until reading this.

Bonus: Have you ever had a “blog crush” (i.e., a crush on someone, of whatever gender, that you haven’t met in person but only know through their blog)? Who?

Yep, my current blog crush is Gillette. She reminds me a lot of my former best friend, but without all the deceit and insecurities. I love her unabashed sexuality and her ability to weave spirituality into her daily interactions. She’s also a gifted writer and I get the sense that I could learn a great deal from her.

I also think Rachel Kramer Bussel is awesome and I would love to hang with her.

Filed under: Memes, Confessions | June 13th, 2007 Comments (10)

About that Burger Kind Dude

Since I posted my letter to the BK Dude, I’ve been afflicted with a twinge of conscience. I’m afraid that letter came across as mean-spirited and arrogant and that my real point was muffled by hyperbole. So let me clarify what my point was, exactly, and what I’ve learned from that episode.

You see, that stupid movie The Benchwarmers really pissed me off. You’re probably wondering why I ever bothered watching such junk, and I don’t blame you. We rented it for the kids one weekend because we’ve long since exhausted the meager pickings of quality family entertainment. It’s a sad state, really. So yeah, I actually sat through that whole entire movie and I’ll spare you the torment by summing it up here. Aside from the stupid plot which isn’t even worth summarizing, the gist of this movie is that dorks are discriminated against unfairly in sports and in life, and we should cheer for the underdogs. I’ve always been a lifelong underdog cheerleader myself so I was prepared to sympathize, but the moral went awry in the end. Because, you see, the movie only really defends dorks that are boys and their entitlement to hot babes. Are dorky girls entitled to hot dudes? No, and apparently they’re not even worthy of the attentions of dorky boys. And that really, really irks me.

Although I don’t really expect comedies, especially stupid ones, to be consistent with reality, I just couldn’t get over the fact that David Spade’s uber-dork character hooks up with an unbelievably gorgeous woman. Come on, we all know that the only reason that beautiful women get with ugly men is because those men are RICH. Donald Trump, anyone? So yeah, ever since then I’ve been disgruntled for the sake of dorky chics everywhere.

Now that you know why I’ve been so annoyed about this whole hot-babe-entitlement issue, I can discuss the moral to the story.

The fact is that if I had just enforced my boundaries upon my very first encounter with Mr. BK, when he basically forced himself on me by not allowing me to walk past him, I wouldn’t have to keep dodging him and making lame excuses.

So that’s my lesson. I need to enforce my boundaries. I need to be more assertive and speak up when someone violates them. I know I can do this, but it doesn’t come easy to me. I always find it very unpleasant because I don’t like to hurt people’s feelings and I feel as though it’s my fault somehow. But I need to remind myself that when someone indicates that they have no regard for my feelings, then I have every right to correct them.

There you have it folks: Boundaries! If you don’t enforce yours, nobody’s gonna do it for you. Ruby’s learning the hard way so you don’t have to:)

Filed under: Confessions, Unsolicited Advice | June 5th, 2007 Comments (4)

100 Things about Ruby

Since we’re still getting acquainted with each other, I thought I’d share more about myself. I opted for that 100 things meme that was in vogue a while back. I’m one of those people that really enjoys reading these random lists myself, so here’s one for you if you’re interested, after the jump.

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Filed under: Confessions | May 31st, 2007 Comments (3)

Sleeping with a sex blogger

So far sex blogging has been a lot of fun for me. Of course, I had a pretty good idea of what I was getting myself into before I launched this site. I knew of the pitfalls, risks, and potential hazards and I made the choice to protect my anonymity accordingly.

But I’m beginning to wonder if I prepared my husband sufficiently for this new reality of ours. He’s been an enthusiastic supporter all along and I appreciate his encouragement. He’s also been a good sport about his blogging moniker (Steel!) which I plucked from a porn-star-name generator when I needed a pseudonym for him in a pinch.

And then, last night while we were having sex I caught myself taking mental notes when something was working particularly well and then I realized what I was doing and laughed out loud. I let him in on the joke and he chuckled. That’s when I came up with this idea:

thong

ThinkGeek has had these T-shirts for a while, but I think it’s time for the sex bloggers to get in on the joke in their own unique way. I’ve made them available on CafePress. There are also boxers available for the gents, although I’m afraid they’re not nearly as sexy. Enjoy!

Filed under: Confessions | May 15th, 2007 Comments (4)

Coming into my own: How I learned to masturbate

I lost my virginity at age 17, but it was another 3 years before I went spelunking. During those 3 years I slept with several boyfriends, but I was lucky if I had even a fledgling little orgasm.

I never felt compelled to solve my own mysteries until I found myself in a prolonged dry spell. I was living and working on a remote dude ranch in the Rockies and there were just two groups of people that I had contact with. First, my fellow employees, whom I considered off limits. We were a small, tight-knit staff and not only did we work together, but we lived together 24/7. I had witnessed the drama of several ill-begotten liasons and vowed not to make that mistake myself.

The other group consisted of the ranch guests, a group of 30-40 couples and families that arrived on a strict weekly rotation. There were seldom, if ever, any singles in the roster. I don’t recall ever feeling the slightest attraction to any of the guests.

You might think that on a dude ranch there would be some prime cowboy meat available for a casual romp, and you’d be partially right in that they were certainly available. Each season they never failed to score with a cutie from either coast, charming them with their tight jeans and jingling spurs. And those belt buckles! I, however, was not so easily impressed. For one thing, I was one of them - a wrangler - and I could handle a horse as good or better than any of them. But the biggest reason I never got frisky with a cowboy was on account of their rodeo-sized ego. I really can’t stomach arrogant macho types in general, and I’d be damned if I was going to be just another notch in anyone’s belt buckle.

Wrangling was the most fun and interesting job I’ve ever had and I absolutely loved it. But I wasn’t getting any horizontal action and for the first time in my life I was desperately horny. What’s a girl to do?

I lived in a bunkhouse with 7 other girls, so privacy was scarce. But some nights I would lie awake, my body restless, my imagination lusty. Eventually I could no longer help myself, and I stealthily slipped my hand under my panties. I earnestly fiddled and prodded and soon I was getting warmer. My breath would quicken and I’d stifle a moan, but I would stop abruptly if I heard anyone stir even a little. I was terrified of discovery and painfully frustrated.

It became my naughty little nocturnal ritual and in time I grew bolder. Finally, after weeks of pearl fishing I brought myself to a tense orgasm, teeth clenched and breath held. It was exquisitely tortuous. I became addicted.

Paddling the pink canoe was a little easier during the winter season because our staff thinned out considerably and there were fewer girls in the bunkhouse. I even had the place to myself for a while in the off-season and that’s when I perfected my technique. Toys were obviously out of the question in the bunkhouse, but I made do very well with my nimble fingers. I learned to stroke my g-spot with my two middle fingers hooked inside my pussy while I rubbed my clit with the heel of my palm. Mmmmm.

It’s a good thing I had that opportunity to come into my own or who knows how much longer it would have taken me to learn how to orgasm. As it were, I would spend the next few years lamenting the fact that the orgasms I had with partners were never as good as the ones I gave myself.

Now I’m happy to say the evolution of my orgasm is still in progress. Just when I think that surely I must have peaked, they keep getting bigger and better. I’m very thankful that I have a partner who thrives on making me come:)

Did you know that May is Masturbation Month? It’s great to have an excuse to pay homage to the fabulous art of self-love!

Filed under: Masturbation, Confessions, Sugasm, Ruby's Dirty Secrets | May 3rd, 2007 Comments (22)

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